


The Bet

by sapphose



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Attempt at Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:09:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25701133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphose/pseuds/sapphose
Summary: Jadzia enlists Julian to help her win Quark's latest betting pool, by figuring out the real nature of Garak's history with Dukat. In the process, Julian gets rather more than he bargained for.Takes place after "Civil Defense."
Relationships: Julian Bashir & Elim Garak, Julian Bashir & Jadzia Dax, Julian Bashir/Elim Garak
Comments: 45
Kudos: 114





	The Bet

**Author's Note:**

> File this one under "it seemed funny so I wrote it instead of sleeping." I hope you enjoy!

“No. Absolutely not. Out of the question, Jadzia.”

“Why?” Jadzia blinked innocently, even though she knew perfectly well _why_.

“Because Garak would kill me!” In talking about anyone else (except perhaps for Kira), it would have been hyperbole. But Julian was positive that if Garak decided to murder someone, he would never get caught, and there would be no body left behind.

“So you don’t ask him outright,” Jadzia advised. “Be subtle. You’re the one who wants to play spy.”

“Quark was on the station back when it was Terok Nor. Why don’t you ask him?”

Jadzia rolled her eyes, and replied in the firm, slow way one might use when explaining something to a small child.

“If someone discovers the answer, the betting pool ends. If the betting pool ends, there is no more profit. Not exactly motivation for a Ferengi.”

“Odo, then,” Julian replied, knowing even as he did so that it was a terrible suggestion.

“Come on, Julian,” she pleaded. “You’re the only one who has enough of a relationship with Garak to have any chance of finding out. At least think about it. For me.”

Long eyelashes fluttered against bright blue eyes.

Dammit.

Julian sighed heavily. He did not want to die (or, even worse, damage his friendship with Garak), but even after the end of his crush he had never figured out how anyone managed not to give in to Jadzia.

“I’ll _try_ ,” he said. “But you owe me. And if I do die, you had better plan a very good funeral.”

“Of course! You know how good I am at parties.” Jadzia winked, squeezed his arm, and walked away.

Julian watched her go with a sense of looming dread. How on earth (or off it, as the case may be) was he supposed to learn if Garak had ever slept with Gul Dukat?

\-----

“I thought the author was perfectly clear about Legate Tenem’s motivations. After all, in his conversation with his wife, his reference to the temperature of the tea clearly showed…”

Julian poked the food listlessly around on his plate, only half-listening. He had more pressing concerns in mind than the obtuse characters in yet another Cardassian epic. To begin with- well, that was the problem, wasn’t it? He didn’t have the first clue where to begin. It had taken a near death experience even to learn Garak’s first name! Despite all evidence to the contrary, Garak still intermittently denied being a former Obsidian Order member and having been exiled at all. The chances of getting him to admit to a liaison with someone he abhorred were laughable, regardless of whether or not it had happened.

Really, was there any reason to believe that it _had_? Dukat and Garak hated each other. If the things they said to each other were to be believed, Garak had been involved in the trial of Dukat’s father, possibly by betraying him in some way. Dukat had tried to have Garak killed at least once, and the murderous feeling was mutual. Sure, Julian had his own fair share of bad breakups, but these two would be taking it to a new extreme.

If the thought of them together bothered Julian, that was why- because it simply didn't make any sense.

“Is something troubling you, Doctor? You seem distracted.”

Shit. Julian’s mind raced to find the thread of the conversation. What had they been talking about?

“No, I’ve just had a tiring morning, that’s all.” _And it’s all Dax’s fault_.

“If you’d prefer, Doctor, we can continue our discussion another time.”

“No, no, it’s-” The proverbial brakes screeched on Julian’s train of thought as inspiration struck. “Actually, yes. Yes, we should talk later. How about dinner? My quarters?”

A rapid couple of blinks and raised eye ridges. Garak was taken aback, but he recovered quickly with a wide smile.

“Certainly. What time?”

Julian exhaled heavily. This would be better. The replimat wasn’t exactly designed for intimate conversation; in his quarters, he’d have a real fighting chance.

\----

Jadzia _owed_ him.

What had Julian been thinking? He and Garak didn’t go over to each others’ quarters, that wasn’t the kind of friendship they had. The only exception was when Garak was about to die and too stubborn to go to the infirmary. Hardly a situation that either of them wanted to repeat.

And what exactly was one supposed to wear when wheedling tales of past dalliances from a Cardassian spy? Probably not the uniform, Julian could figure that much, but it wasn’t as if any of his civilian clothes screamed “tell me about your relationship with Gul Dukat.”

Come to think of it, did _Dukat_ have a first name?

Julian was very nearly tearing out his hair by the time Garak arrived. Then, instead of pulling out his hair, he started talking.

And couldn’t seem to make himself stop.

Now, halfway through replicated hasperat and with no end in sight to Garak looking at him like he had spontaneously generated a second head, Julian was talking about the new crew members, of all things.

“I’m still trying to get a few of them in for a physical, I don’t know why everyone’s so wary of doctors.” _Stop talking, Julian_. “It’s not as if I haven’t treated Bolians before. That’s what the new science officer is, Bolian.” _It’s not that hard. Close your mouth and don’t open it again. Stop. Talking._ “He seems pretty nice, I wonder if you’ll be seeing him in the shop, maybe he’d like some new clothes.”

Mercifully, Julian ran out of breath, and shoveled more food into his mouth before he could begin again.

Garak stared with undisguised bemusement.

“Perhaps,” he managed.

Silence. What were they supposed to be talking about? Legate Tenem’s motivations for betraying his daughter in _Sacrifice Under the Blind Moon_? How was he supposed to get from new officers to there to the whole real point of the evening? Should he rule out a segue by talking about how Bolian bodily fluids released during sexual intimacy are caustic to many humanoids? Yes, that one was definitely off the table.

Garak took a diffident bite from his own plate.

“A lot of Bolian food is unpalatable to humans,” Julian blurted out, and could have bitten off his own tongue for it. If Garak ever wanted to have lunch with him again after this, it would be a miracle.

“Fascinating,” Garak said, in a tone that implied exactly the opposite. This was bad, very bad; Garak was usually the only person on the station not to be bored by Julian’s factoids.

He had to salvage this. _Think, Julian, think. What’s the point of a_ _genetically enhanced intelligence if you’re going to be such an idiot?_

“He has two co-husbands, back on Bolarus. This officer does, I mean.” Dukat had a wife, but that was hardly the springboard Julian needed for this conversation. No, the key was somewhere, he’d just have to keep trying. “Polyamory is practiced among humans, of course, but not as frequently. And then Halanans believe that relationships should only be kept between two people.”

“Most Cardassians would agree with that sentiment,” Garak remarked, typically vague on whether or not he was one of them.

Julian sensed an opportunity and seized it with both hands.

“I know almost nothing about Cardassian sexuality or mating rituals.”

Not exactly smooth, but it was a start. For the first time since he entered the room, Garak smiled.

“There’s no reason you would.”

“I’m very interested in comparative cultural studies, actually. Beyond literature. What about same gender partnerships? For example. How do Cardassians feel about those?”

Garak met Julian’s eyes with a level gaze.

“As a doctor, you should already know that only a male and female Cardassian can reproduce.”

It was going to be more work to get an answer. That was par for the course, really, with Garak. Julian didn’t mind, as long as they were getting _somewhere_.

“What about unions where children aren’t the goal?” he asked.

“Why, my dear doctor, how would that serve the state?”

Julian resisted an eye roll, but only just.

“Surely you don’t only have sex when it serves the state.” If even a fraction of the Bajorans’ stories about life during the Occupation were to be believed, Cardassians (or at least military men) spent _plenty_ of time in liaisons of which the state would never have approved.

“Perhaps not,” Garak acquiesced with a tilt of his head, “but it’s hardly a topic for polite discussion.”

There was probably an implied _so stop asking about it_ at the end of that statement, which Julian resolved to ignore. (Dax had better have a good way to make this up to him.)

“So, it could happen that two male Cardassians would enter a romantic relationship?” he pushed.

“It could,” Garak allowed.

Was impolite the same as taboo? Julian didn’t mind being seen as vulgar, but if Garak was carrying around any shame, it wouldn’t do to exacerbate it. If Garak was simply homophobic, on the other hand, Julian wanted to know as soon as possible.

He cleared his throat.

“I’ve dated men before, you know.”

“I’m surprised to hear it. Your… pursuits on the station have been… consistent.”

The eye roll escaped this time before Julian could stop it. It wasn’t Garak’s fault, necessarily, but he was sick and tired of that assumption.

“If you mean that I’ve only been with women, you don’t know everything I do in my free time,” he responded in a clipped tone.

For some reason, the look that Garak gave him was almost fond.

“I wouldn’t dream of implying otherwise, Doctor.”

“What about you? Do you, I mean, are you particularly interested in women, or men? Or does it not matter?”

Garak took a moment to swirl kanar in his glass and take a thoughtful sip before answering, a stall tactic which was both perfectly maddening and unfortunately characteristic.

“I have been with men in the past.”

That… Well, that didn’t rule out the possibility of sleeping with Dukat, but it didn’t present as overwhelmingly conclusive evidence, either. There was no hope for it but to keep digging the grave.

“Cardassian men?” Julian probed.

Garak’s smile was positively crocidilian.

“Such curiosity, Doctor. I was under the impression that you had invited me over to discuss _Sacrifice Under the Blind Moon_.”

Damn. Julian scrambled for the right thing to say. For someone living a lie, he was terrible at manufacturing one on command.

Ultimately, he settled on, “I thought we could get to know each other better.”

“A delightful idea.” Garak’s arm snaked across the table, his hand coming to rest at the crook of Julian’s elbow.

“I’m… glad you agree,” Julian said, feeling suddenly cautious. Had his heartbeat always been this loud?

“I thought perhaps you had lost your courage, with all that talk about Bolians.” There was a leg pressing against Julian’s which he definitely had not felt mere seconds ago. “There’s no need to be nervous, Doctor.”

“Nervous? I’m not nervous.” Or at least he hadn’t been, up until this moment. Did Garak know?

Garak, whose face was suddenly very close.

Julian’s mouth felt inexplicably dry. He swallowed hard, and his tongue darted out to lick his lips. Garak’s eyes tracked its movement.

“You know how I’ve always appreciated your open mind,” he murmured.

“Yes, well, I try to- _Oh_.”

And that was all Julian could say, because his mouth was suddenly otherwise occupied.

His brain, which was usually simultaneously following several paths at once, narrowed itself to one stream of information.

_Elim Garak The Spy is kissing me_

_Elim Garak The Spy is kissing me and it’s amazing_

_Elim Garak The Spy is kissing me and it’s amazing and I am kissing back_

_Elim Garak The Spy is kissing me and it’s amazing and I am kissing back and_

An incomprehensible sound rumbled in Julian’s throat when Garak pulled back.

“Was that what you had in mind?” Against all odds, Garak actually sounded slightly nervous. “I hope I haven’t misunderstood.”

It wasn’t what Julian had in mind, Garak had massively misunderstood, and if Garak didn’t go back to kissing him this instant Julian was going to be extremely disappointed.

In answer to Garak’s question, Julian leaned forward until their lips met once more.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, a dim thought flickered. _Maybe I’m the one who is going to end up owing Jadzia, after all._

\-----

“Hey, Julian! Wait up!” Jadzia ensured she had the attention of Julian (and everyone else on the Promenade) with a shout and frantically waved arm before jogging up to meet him.

“Good morning to you, too,” he responded brightly. There was no point in delaying the inevitable; he knew what she would ask, and had planned accordingly.

Sure enough, Jadzia leaned in to nudge his shoulder with her own, sporting a mischievous smile.

“So, how did it go?”

“Brilliantly. I had a splendid evening.” In fact, that almost felt like an understatement.

“Does that mean you found out whether… you know…”

“I found out that Garak definitely has sex with men. Beyond that, you’re going to have to do your own detective work. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have plans for breakfast.” Julian let his shameless grin overflow as he nodded goodbye to Jadzia and crossed the Promenade, to Garak’s Clothiers.

Her ear-splitting wolf whistle behind his back was enough to make him blush, but it couldn’t hold a candle to the delight on Garak’s face when he entered.

“Good morning, my dear. I’m afraid it will be a moment before I can join you for breakfast. I’m running late in opening up, this morning.”

“Better late than never,” Julian quipped, and decided it was time for another kiss.


End file.
